General
Dining Etiquette
Punctuality
Be on time - no one wants to be kept waiting. If it is an
unavoidable delay, try to contact the person. Keep in mind that you never know
when you will encounter heavy traffic, wrecks, construction or other delays.
Always allow extra time particularly if you are going to an interview. For
interviews you should arrive 10-15 minutes before the interview time.
Greetings and
Introductions
When
meeting someone, rise if you are seated, smile, extend your hand and re-peat
the other person’s name in your greeting. A good handshake is important - it
should be firm and held for three to our seconds. Today, in the business world,
it is not necessary to wait for a female to initiate the handshake.
Females/males should both be ready to initiate the handshake.Introducing people
is one of the most important acts in business life, yet few people know how to
do it. Be sure to explain who people are and use their full names. Also do not
assume that everyone wants to be called by his or her first name - wait until you
are told to use a first name.
Sitting Down
Wait
until invited to be seated, or after host sits down. Do not place any bags,
purses, sunglasses, cell phones, or briefcases on the table.
Table Setting
It can be very confusing to be presented with a variety of
eating utensils. (See below) Remember the guideline “to
start at the out-side and work your way in.” If you have been given two forks,
which are the same size, begin with the fork on the outside. Many restaurants
use the same size of fork for both the salad and main course
A
variety of types and sizes of glasses can be used throughout the meal. Remember
your items to drink will be located in the area above your knife and spoon.
Alcohol*,
if consumed, should be in moderation. In most cases you may have a drink during
the social hour and wine(s) with the dinner. You do not have to finish your
drink, and slowly sipping is recommended. If you do not want an alcoholic
drink, politely decline. Coffee cups may be located to the right of the knife
and spoon.
.
Napkin
When
dining with others, place your napkin on your lap after everyone at your table
has been seated. Do not open your napkin in mid-air; As you remove your napkin
from the table begin to open below the table level and place on your lap. If
you must leave a meal, do so between courses, and place your napkin on your
chair or to the left of your plate. When a meal is completed, place your napkin
to the right of your plate - never on the plate. If your napkin falls on the
floor and it is within easy reach, retrieve it. If you are unable to retrieve
it without drawing attention to yourself, ask the server for another one.
Ordering
Do not take a lot of time to order. Others are
waiting. Order simply - do not customize your order excessively as this can
attract unnecessary and negative attention. Follow your host's lead. Avoid
foods that are difficult to eat and/or messy. If you are your host's guest,
select an item that is in the mid-price range, easy to eat and one you will
enjoy. Consider asking your host/hostess for a recommendation before making
your decision. If you are the host, it is courteous to take the lead in ordering
appetizers and wine, if these are to be served.
Serving
Wait for everyone at
your table to be served before beginning to eat. However, if an individual who
has not been served encourages you to begin eating, you may do so. Eat slowly
while waiting for their food to be served.
Utensils
Do
not make a fist around the handle of the utensil. This is a child’s way of
holding a utensil - not an adult’s. There are two acceptable ways to use the
knife and fork: Continental Fashion and American Standard. Continen-tal
Fashion: The diner cuts food, usually one bite at a time, and uses fork in left
hand, tines pointing down, to spear
food and bring it to mouth. American Standard: A few bites are cut, knife is
laid across top of plate, sharp edge toward you, and fork is switched to right
hand, tines up to bring the food to the mouth. Do not cut more than two or
three bites at a time. Do not use both hands simultaneously to hold utensils
and cups. Keep utensils in the same order they appear on the table. Do not
rearrange them to accommodate yourself if you are left-handed. If you drop a
utensil, do not pick it up - leave on floor and ask server for another.
The
‘Pass’
Do
not reach across the table for an item - politely ask the person next to you to
pass. Pass “community food” such as the breadbasket, salt and pepper, and salad
dressing to the right. Always pass the salt and pepper to-gether. It is considered
rude to use it first before passing it to the person who asked for it. When
passing items such as a creamer, syrup pitcher, or gravy boat, pass it with the
handle pointing toward the recipient. Set any passed item directly on the table
instead of passing hand-to-hand. Once using or taking from a passed item, set
it in a “central” location easily accessible by others if possible - do not
keep it close to you.
Soup
& Bread
When eating soup, think of making a circle: Spoon away from you,
bring around to your mouth and back
to the bowl. Soup is taken from the side of the soup spoon - it is not inserted
into your mouth. Bread and rolls should never be eaten whole. Break into
smaller, more manageable pieces, buttering a few bites at a time. Toast and garlic
bread, however, may be eaten as whole pieces since they are usually already
buttered. If served a hot muffin or biscuit, you may break in half crosswise,
add butter, and put it back together. When ready to eat it, break it into small
pieces.
Seasonings
& Sweeteners
Always
taste your food first before using any seasonings. Do not assume it needs to be
seasoned. Do not be excessive with sugar or sweetener packets. The rule of
thumb is no more than two packets per meal. Do not crumble the packets but partially
tear off a corner, empty the contents and place to the side.
Eating
If
encountering something unchewable or undesirable, hold your napkin up to your
mouth and discreetly dis-pose of it. Place your napkin on the side and quietly
ask your waiter for a new one. An alternative is to polietly excuse yourself to
the restroom while keeping it in your mouth, and dispose of it there.
Toothpicks should be used discreetly and in private; not at the table. A good
idea is to go to the restroom after dining to check your teeth and freshen up.
When sharing a plate of chips or veggies with a dip or sauce with others, apply
the “Single
Dip Rule” - that is, dip only once; do not
insert a food item you have taken a bite from back into a shared bowl of dip or
sauce.
Spilling
If you spill food, discreetly retrieve it with
your knife or fork and place it at the side of your plate. You may also
discreetly dip your napkin into your wa-ter glass and wipe a small spill from
your clothing. If food falls on the floor, leave it. If it falls on the table
and is a big piece, use your fork and move it to a corner of your plate.
Finishing
When
finished with a course, leave your plates in the same position that they were
presented to you. In other words, do not push your plates away or stack them.
Paying the Bill
You should prearrange how the bill is being paid. If being
treated by someone, always thank them. Remember to tip your waiter
appropriately: 15% for moder-ate service; 20% for excellent service.
General
Business Etiquette
A good point to remember in business etiquette is everyone
should be treated with equal courtesy and respect. Administrative assistants or
office support staff are important people and should never be taken for
granted. Treat them courteously in all your transactions. Treat people the way
you wish to be treated. Gender no longer needs to be the deciding factor in
everyday events. Business etiquette should be a give and take, to assist each
other when needed, and show consideration for others.
Guest
If you are someone’s guest at a meal, ask the person what he/she
recommends. By doing this, you will learn price range guidelines and have an
idea of what to order. Usually order an item in the mid price range. Also keep
in mind, the person who typically initiates the meal will pay. Remember to
thank them for the meal.
Restaurant Staff
Wait staff, servers, Maitre d’(check spelling), etc. are your
allies. They can assist you with whatever problem may arise. Quietly get their
attention and speak to them about the issue.
As
a general rule, follow the lead of the host before removing your jacket. If the
host keeps theirs on, keep yours on. If it is very hot weather, it is
acceptable to ask their permission to remove your jacket. This applies to both
men and women. Keep in mind that some restaurants require that customers keep
their jackets on during meals.
Personal
Hygiene
Understand
that your behavior at the table can negatively affect others’ dining
experiences. Do not conduct per-sonal hygiene activities at the dining table.
Do not stir your food items together on your plate, or play with your food with
your fork. Do not apply makeup, or comb or run your fingers through your hair,
or pick at your clothing or body. Never blow your nose at the table, or in
other social or public settings. Excuse yourself from the table and go to the
restroom or a private area, and minimize the noise you make. While it is
appropriate to dab your nose discreetly with a paper napkin at the table, never
use your cloth dinner napkin. Put used tissue/napkin in your pocket or purse -
don’t leave it on the table for others to be forced to view, or in your chair
for a server to remove. To sneeze, turn your head away from the table and cover
your mouth. Don’t clear your throat loudly.
Remember why you’re there. Consider the purpose/context of the
dining experi-ence. Is it part of a job interview process? A formal or informal
gathering of co-work-ers? Pay attention to the thread of conversation and
participate when appropriate. Don’t interrupt or repeatedly turn the topic of
conversation to you or your interests. Try to choose universal topics of
conversation in which all may have an interest. Can’t think of anything to say?
Listen attentively, and ask questions to generate con-versation. Avoid a loud
tone of voice. Do not use profanities. Be sensitive to others before initiating
conversation on topics that may not be suitable - avoid anything of a vulgar,
graphic, or otherwise unpleasant nature. If you are someone else’s guest, even
if part of a group, don’t criticize the food, restaurant, etc. - this can cause
em-barrassment on the part of the “host.”
Technology
Put technology away at the dinner table or other social
gatherings. Again, remember why you are there - to share an experience with
others, to listen and converse in person. Turning your attention to your cell
phone to text or play a game is rude. It implies that fellow guests or the
dining experience aren’t interesting to you. So, turn off cell phones and
pagers, or put on vibrate only if you must take a call - and in that case,
excuse yourself from the table and find a private area. Do not let devices ring
and then turn off after checking to see who is contacting you, as this is
distracting for others as well.
Be
aware of smoking policies. You should never smoke during an interview, at a
meal or when you are aware that the other person’s pleasure does not include
tobacco smoke.
Types
of Dining Scenarios...
Lunch Interview
Order only from the lunch menu, and then, not the most
ex-pensive item! The expectation is that the employer will pay for the meal;
however, you may offer. DO NOT order alcohol (even if interviewer does) and DO
NOT order foods that are messy to eat or require you to hold the food with your
hands.
Pre-Set Meals
With a pre-set meal the host/hostess has already made the
selections and the individuals are served. If allergic, religious or vegetarian
issues arise, quietly deal with these as the server is at your side. For
vegetarian ask if you may have a vegetable plate; with allergies or religion,
provide the server with options (e.g., if allergic to shellfish
-
ask if they have fish, and be ready to
order a specific kind). This lets the server know what you can eat. Always eat
a little of all items served to you.
Buffet
With a pre-set meal the host/hostess has already made the
selections and the individuals are served. If allergic, religious or vegetarian
issues arise, quietly deal with these as the server is at your side. For
vegetarian ask if you may have a vegetable plate; with allergies or religion,
provide the server with options (e.g., if allergic to shellfish
-
ask if they have fish, and be ready to
order a specific kind). This lets the server know what you can eat. Always eat
a little of all items served to you.
Receptions
Most receptions or social hours are for the purpose of mingling
and making contacts whether for job leads, as part of an interview, or an
employee entertaining clients. When you enter the reception observe the layout
of the room. Seeing the room layout gives you a clue on how to proceed at the
reception. If no tables are available, you should only have a drink or your
food in your hand - never both. You should be prepared to greet and shake hands
with individuals. If having a!drink hold it in your left hand to keep your
right hand dry and ready to shake hands. If eating hold your plate on the right
hand and eat with the left hand. When someone approaches, you are able to
switch the plate to your left hand and your right hand is clean and ready to
shake. If tables are available you may have your drink and food together. However,
always be ready to stand and greet people. Networking and/or mingling are an
important aspect of a business function, even if the event is described as a
social gathering. Be sure to greet or introduce yourself to the host/hostess.
Spend a few minutes conversing with them on topics that relate to the event or
to their business. To move on you can politely say, “I know you need to talk
with your other guests.” Connect with as many attendees as possible. Do not
interrupt people; wait until they include you, or there is a break in the
conversation and you can introduce yourself. Start conversations by asking
someone about themselves or their job, as most people enjoy talking about themselves.
Do not look around the room for your next contact as you converse with some-one.
Focus eye contact on that individual and after a time, politely excuse yourself
to move on to someone else.
Office Parties
Office parties are good opportunities to improve morale and
build good will. Keep in mind these are people who see you every day and they
will remember a lapse in behavior. Be aware of your alcoholic consumption and
do not embarrass yourself. Do not discuss business - this is a social occasion
and an opportunity to learn more about your co-workers.
